The more innocent, genuine and loving your heart, the higher the chance that you experience or have experienced enormous pain in your intimate life.
Chances are high you were betrayed, lied to, used, even exploited.
And now because of that, understandably so, you have trust issues. And it’s not just about trusting other people, it’s also a lack of trust in yourself.
It really stings when you start to think:
Can I trust myself in making the right choice in a relationship?
How could I have fallen for this? I should have known better…
When you are in this state, your mind will try to protect you. The only problem is that the mind will protect you by creating limitations for you.
It will say: close your heart. You don’t need anyone. It will say: I can no longer trust myself. I’m not meant to be in a relationship at all…
I want you to tune out anything that tells you the above, and instead receive the following:
You don’t need to change your loving heart. You don’t need to love less. You just need to learn to protect it and to discern better. That’s it.
This can be a huge relief for people, realizing that there is nothing wrong with their loving heart. Trust that love. Trust that open heart of yours. Just stop handing it out to those who cannot hold and honor it the way you deserve to be held and loved.
Many people get hurt in the process of loving deeply and pouring all their love into a relationship or connection. They then give the hurt the meaning of: I can no longer trust love or myself. And the heart inevitably closes as a result of this misplaced meaning.
But there are some people, despite all the pain, who say: I will keep my heart open. I will learn to protect it better. And these people are the ones who create incredible transformation in their intimate life.
The meaning you give something becomes your experience, becomes your reality. So if you were to let go of the meaning, then there would still be pain, but your heart would not close.
The hurt is there. It is real. But there is no assigning a false meaning to it.
It just means there is pain. Pain that needs to be seen, witnessed, held.
We don’t want to romanticize suffering, but this is the journey of the heart truly opening.
So it is no longer a naive opening, but an opening with scars, with wisdom, having learned invaluable lessons.
Each time you open your heart you become wiser in the process. As long as you open it again, you are moving forward.
It does not make sense to the mind. Because the mind does not have the intelligence, nor the wisdom of the heart. It tries to prepare for the worst outcome, what if I get hurt again? Living from that place of uncertainty means living with a bracing, tensed, and closed heart.
All of this was always leading somewhere. The pain, the closing, the opening again. It was never wasted. It was the path to the love you were always meant to have. Take a breath and read this again. Notice how it feels in your body.
If you’re ready to go deeper, click here to see my upcoming training courses or click here to access past recordings.