In this feature for The Sun, relationship expert Lorin Krenn explains why strong sexual chemistry can sometimes be mistaken for genuine emotional connection. Drawing on his work in emotional intimacy and conscious dating, he describes how intense attraction may actually reflect familiar trauma patterns rather than true compatibility.
Lorin highlights how past emotional experiences can shape attraction, leading people toward relationships that feel exciting but ultimately repeat unhealthy dynamics. He emphasizes that without awareness, individuals may confuse nervous-system familiarity with real connection, which can keep them stuck in cycles that undermine long-term wellbeing.
The article also explores what healthier connection looks like, with Lorin encouraging people to prioritize emotional availability, consistency, honest communication, and a sense of calm and safety over dramatic highs and lows. He notes that real love tends to feel steady and grounded, supported by mutual respect, vulnerability, and emotional presence.
What keeps us from being truly loved