Through decades of either suppressing our sexual energy or expressing it in an unhealthy way, the sexual shadow was born.
Both, suppression, or over-indulgence of our sexual energy makes us unconscious and allows the sexual shadow to thrive. The goal of your sexual shadow is to feed from your sexual energy. Why? Because your sexual energy is extremely powerful.
Years of not being aware of your sexual shadow leads to feeling unable to express yourself in the way you would actually like to. People who are enslaved by their sexual energy and desires are most often trapped in the pleaser archetype, meaning they are afraid to step on someone’s toes, afraid to speak up out of fear of being rejected, and show up energetically in an insecure and restrained way.
Without developing an empowering and honouring relationship to our most primal, darkest, and erotic desires, our sexual energy in general, we cannot serve the universe with the unique medicine our soul has to offer.
The sexual shadow expresses itself in infinite ways, below are the most common examples;
1) Being sexually drawn to intimate partners who are not good for you, yet you cannot help yourself and feel obsessively attracted to them, especially on a physical and sexual level.
2) Feeling ashamed of your sexual fantasies, and rawest desires. This can appear in the form of a voice in your head that is often referred to as your inner-critic, or your judge. It might say things such as: “You shouldn’t think these things. These things are bad. What if your partner/other people know what you are thinking?” Or it can simply be a feeling of guilt, the feeling of doing something terribly wrong.
3) A limited relationship to self-pleasure. The sexual shadow thrives from you feeling ashamed of having urge to self-pleasure yourself, and it thrives from you compulsively engaging in it to distract yourself from painful emotions. It loves both extremes of the spectrum.
4) Being stuck in your fantasies. All the energy is in your head-area, you feel ungrounded, overly horny and cannot stop thinking about your sexual fantasies. This can feel similar to a traumatic response, where your body goes into fight-or-flight. You feel overly stimulated, overwhelmed by the pressure of your sexual arousal.
5) Watching porn and feeling guilty and depleted afterwards. It’s not about the act of watching porn, however, you feel there is something wrong with what you are doing, this creates a combination between pleasure and shame & guilt, which leads to obsession regarding your sexual energy.
And there are infinite examples more…
The bottom line is that you feel there is something wrong with your natural sexual desires, your arousal, and your sexuality in general.
All of this is the work of your sexual shadow. It’s not just that you have your own, uniquely formed sexual shadow based on your experiences in life, there is a collective sexual shadow as well, and the sexual shadow of your ancestors gets passed onto you. This is why you feel so much resistance and there is such an intensity behind your sexual shadow. It is true that the sexual shadow is very strong, however, remember that it needs to feed from from you, in order to sustain itself, it is your unexpressed power and light that allows it to thrive.
Oftentimes people with a strong sexual shadow, people who have a lot of sexual energy circulating through their body and energy field, have unlimited potential, energy that when set free, creates radical transformation and positive change in this world.
The intensity behind your sexual energy is not bad, nor good, it is neutral, and only you decide what you do with it.
Once you become aware of your sexual shadow, you have the opportunity to heal yourself and bring healing to the world, with your true essence shining through your energy field.