Guilt says: “I did something bad.”
Shame says: “I am bad.”
This phrasing was coined by shame researcher Brené Brown.
There is a fundamental difference. Guilt is something you can repair, or at least, in many cases, work through.
Shame has nowhere to go. It focuses on some kind of perceived flaw in your character, in who you are as a soul. And this is exactly why it is so painful to live with.
Shame is not a problem. No emotion is a problem. It’s simply an experience, perhaps not a comfortable one, but an experience nevertheless.
The challenge is: If we identify with shame, with the belief that we are bad, then we will not allow ourselves to receive love, abundance, and the blessings of life fully.
Why? Because when we feel unworthy we push the love, abundance, and joy around us away.
And this then becomes further evidence that we are bad. Even though there is no actual evidence!
You can see the cycle here, how an unchecked judgement and belief about ourself disconnects us from what we want, and then the mind gives it the meaning that the belief is true.
So what do you do?
The practice is not to get rid of the shame, it’s to allow yourself to be loved despite feeling it.
Who decides that you are not worthy of love and of blessings when you are experiencing shame? Ask yourself this question right now.
You! You decide that. No one else. No one else takes love away from you, no one deprives you of anything, except yourself!
And that is the sweet paradox. Shame is not the issue. Negative thoughts are not the issue. Fear is not the issue.
The issue is that we treat it as proof that we are not worthy of being loved, of experiencing abundance, and deep joy.
So, let me ask you this question: What if you are still worthy despite the shame, despite any challenging emotions or thoughts you might be experiencing?
Believing in your worth is the beginning of allowing love in.
In a way, we abandon spirit, the creator, not the other way around.
We decide: I feel shame, so I am unworthy, and I will retreat now. And it makes sense. But the only one deciding that you are not worthy remains you.
So whenever you experience a challenging emotion from now on, or challenging thoughts, ask yourself this question:
Does this truly mean I am not worthy of love? Worthy of abundance, of deep joy?
And each time you do this, you will come to the conclusion that it doesn’t. It is always available to you.
Love does not disconnect from us, we disconnect from it.
Love remains, is there, awaiting us.
Let this land in your heart.
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The Moment I Thought I Had Gone Crazy