One of life’s biggest challenges for me has been about learning to receive my wife’s intuition without becoming defensive.
And having worked with so many men I can tell you that this is one of the biggest challenges in relationships not only for men but for women as well. Let me explain.
As men we have received the conditioning that it is ‘weak’ to receive a woman’s intuition. And that by acknowledging our fault, or unconsciousness in any shape or form, we are somehow a failure, or worthless. Ironically the opposite is true – by owning our unconsciousness we actually turn into spiritual warriors, as it takes tremendous courage to step out of the shadow and do so.
Our defensiveness will often trigger the generational trauma of the feminine which is her feeling as if she’s ‘too much’, like she’s a ‘burden’. It triggers the core wound of rejection with the masculine, whether it was rejection from a woman’s father or in relationship with men.
If a woman is not fully centered in her power, then she will often give in to the masculine shadow of defensiveness. She will over-explain herself, sugarcoat the deeper truth that her heart wants to express, and try in future to avoid the ‘trigger’ she has created.
In this example, it is not that the masculine is overly controlling or dominating, the defensiveness in most cases is entirely unconscious. Both parties trigger each other’s core wounding and are now stuck in the relationship and their individual evolution without being aware of the dynamic between them.
Ideally, both start to work on this and take responsibility for their part in it. However, in many cases, one party starts to ignite the change.
For instance, the woman makes the decision to no longer give in, she instead remains rooted in her heart’s truth. Now, there might be a strong argument, but in this case, her rootedness creates an opportunity for deep shadow work and deeper awareness.
In another example, the man works on his emotional reactivity by being willing to listen deeper, to remain present and grounded when a woman shares information that triggers him. The result is that he has created a space where she feels safe to embody her intuition fully.
If you want to know exactly how to heal this, click here to see my upcoming training courses or click here to access past recordings.
What Really matters in a Relationship