Making love to a woman in the bedroom is one of the most beautiful experiences the universe offers us. But unless you make love 10 hours each day, you have to find another way to create intimacy, trust, and connection in your relationship, aside from sex.
Many people separate sex from their daily life. You make love, and then you return to the mundane, the passionless, and the boring. The truth is, you make love with your heart and consciousness. You utilize the deep compassion in your heart and your samurai-sharp consciousness. Making love in the bedroom should be an expansion of your constant energetic embrace of the feminine.
The first step in making love to a woman with your heart and consciousness is to listen deeply. You do not listen to her and think about the next thing you will say. Listenfully to the content of her speech, and at the same time, feel into her body. Listening fully means receiving and witnessing all that she is. It will allow her to soften, relax, and open.
The second step is to remain aware of your deep breath. If possible, remain aware of your breath all the time, but whenever you feel lost in her ocean, triggered, or annoyed, constrict the back of your throat (Ujayi breath/Darth-vader breath), and breathe deeply into your stomach. Let your stomach fall full out while you inhale, and bring it towards the spine while you exhale.
The third step is to make ordinary moments extraordinary. For instance, surprise her with a pattern interrupt. A pattern interrupt signals to her that you are highly conscious and not falling into your habituations and the busyness of the world. It signals to her that you are incredibly strong. For instance, whisper some poetry into her ear while you cook together, and praise her in a unique and authentic way. Invite her to dance with you, carry her in your arms, and goof around.
The last step is to remain conscious of her heart, her body language, how she speaks, the energy her body transmits, and the forever changing rhythm of the feminine. This does not mean that you watch her like a creep, or analyze all that she does. Allow your consciousness to take care of her and act appropriately.
Allow her to open in your presence. When she feels stressed out, instead of talking like an endless waterfall, you remain silent and rooted within. You do not please her, but you act from your authentic core and deepest intuition, to comprehend her constant and divine weather changes.