I received this question from a lot of my female clients and followers and as far as I have seen, there is not much information about it out there. The truth is, as the feminine you can support the masculine profoundly in becoming more vulnerable, in opening up.
The first step, and the most important step, is to stop playing small. If the fire of your feminine fierceness starts to dwindle when he shuts down and you want to please him, don’t.
By pleasing him when he rejects his vulnerable nature you are basically letting him know that it is okay to shut down. Deep down he doesn’t want to shut down. He wants to keep his heart open, even in very challenging moments, the supreme destiny of the masculine.
With feminine fierceness I don’t mean lashing out on him and shaming him when he shuts down, please don’t. I am talking about loving fierceness. You don’t let him off the hook, you don’t let him play video games for 3 hours to calm down, you push him in a conscious way to feel his heart and to feel your heart. He won’t die from it. He actually needs it. And if he blames you for his challenges to feel his heart and to be vulnerable, then he is trapped in a shadow.
Another way to help him become more vulnerable, is in the bedroom. When you realize he is playing out a script and stuck in his head during the act of making love, make him slow down. For example; as you are on top, consciously slow down. Slow down and feel, gaze into his eyes, whisper into his ears. This will catapult him back into his body and back into his feelings, aka being vulnerable. His cock might lose its erection when you do that. This is a sign that it’s too much for him. But not you are too much, feeling his own emotions, is. Be very gentle with him, let him know that you don’t give a crap about it. Let him open up if he wants to speak, or massage his body, give him time to breathe.
Another way is, to encourage him is to speak up. But make sure you don’t interrogate him, the masculine can feel very threatened by that. Ask him gently, from a place of love and compassion, what’s going on, and that you want him to let you in because you love him so much and care about him. Often it’s just loving reassurance he needs.
There are so many other ways to open him up. Trust your feminine intuition and feminine heart. You got this. And if nothing works, it might be time to let him go.
If you finally want to stop the suffering in your intimate relationships, create deep trust and experience enlightened sex, or attract a conscious and suitable partner, then book your spot for my Deep Intimacy Masterclass on the 28th of November. I look forward to seeing you there!