Most couples experience strong sexual polarity when they first get together. This is because both own their energetic role in the sacred dance between the masculine and the feminine.
The masculine tends to be calm, grounded, sharp, focused, present, clear in his speech and the way he shows up.
The feminine tends to be open, soft, divinely innocent, yet fierce and fiery when needed, her body language, her movements, her expressions are like an invitation into a sacred portal. (The words “he” and “she” are being used for explanatory reasons. Masculine and feminine don’t equal men and women!)
We don’t lose that state because we fall out of love, we lose that state because we no longer own our energetic role in the unique dynamic of our relationship. The masculine becomes sloppy, distracted, vague in his speech and actions. And the feminine becomes rigid, hard, serious, tough on herself and everyone around her.
The first step in order to create, or re-create sexual polarity is to own your energetic pole and the responsibility that comes with it.
As a man, if your core is masculine, you are responsible for creating intimacy and leading the relationship forward. You are the ship, sailing into the endless ocean, and if you are not owning your energetic role, you won’t be able to navigate your ship. You need to realize that if you don’t own your responsibility as the energetic leader then the polarity will crumble and she won’t be able to trust your lead.
As a woman, if your core is feminine, you are responsible for staying in your heart and listening to your oracle. If you abandon your inner voice and trust his masculine blindly and naively then the polarity will crumble. This might seem like a paradox, however, your oracle will tell you when he is leading you both astray, when he is disconnected, and if you tolerate that and allow him to lead energetically in whatever way he wants to, then you will both suffer tremendously. You don’t call him names or insult him when that happens, that is a polarity-killer, instead you allow your oracle to test him. This might seem like a polarity-killer at first, but only if he doesn’t own his energetic pole. Remember, these teachings require a certain amount of consciousness. You can forget everything I have just said if a man calls you crazy because you listen to your oracle, or vice-versa, when a woman wants you to be sloppy and vague so she can control you psychologically.
Own your energetic role and you will both naturally be in the dance between Shiva and Shakti. You will feel deeply connected to each other, even in challenging moments. Then, making love is a byproduct of your energetic dance.